Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko Takahashi,
and the several publishing companies she has sold the rights too
as well.

Books 1 and 2 can be found at:
Rangerhq.50megs.com
Sofaspud.Org, and
Fanfiction.net

Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;
Pointless flames will be ignored.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering"
Chapter 5: "Storm Warnings"

     Submitted for your consideration: A seemingly normal high
school on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan.  Looking closer, you
notice something is wrong; although it is a school day, the yard
is empty of its usual crowd of students socializing before class. 
They can sense the growing unease you have not; because, as you
are about to find out, they are unwitting residents of... the
Furinkan Zone.

     No, the Furinkan High schoolyard was not a safe place to
socialize this morning, the grapevine informing new arrivals that
for some reason ‘Typhoon Gajin' was on the warpath.  Kuno, for
example, had already received detention after having been caught
waiting inside the main gate in his kendo garb; accused of
planning on challenging one or both of his true loves.  What
wasn't known was why; none of the students could have known that
Muck was suffering from a particularly intense hangover.  As
always, it had seemed like a good idea at the time...

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     "Then I get hit with this hammer, from out of nowhere!" Muck
told Akemi, who was sitting next to him at the bar proper of the
Cha Cha Maru.  From the slight slurring of his speech, it was
clear that he'd been there for a while.  "And that's what brings
me here."  Master tut-tuted in commiseration with Muck's story as
he placed a fresh drink in front of him.  As he did, Master's
eyes suddenly focused beyond them, then gestured to Akemi.

     "Customers, dear.  Time to earn your pay again."  Akemi
stuck her tounge out at Master, but her smile indicated no malice
in the act, then slipped off the barstool and headed to greet the
new arrivals.

     "I think she likes you," Muck stated, causing Master to
blink at the seeming non-sequitur.

     "Maybe," Master replied after a long second.  "She seemed
interested, right after Yusaku and Kyoko got engaged; but I think
it was because she'd been after him herself at the time."  Master
sighed before continuing, "I wanted to be certain that she liked
me for who I am, not because she was looking for comfort after
losing to Kyoko..."

     "And you waited to long," Muck concluded for him.  Master
nodded in silent agreement, turning his attention to the two new
arrivals who had seated themselves next to Muck at the bar.  Muck
gave them a quick once over, then froze, the ice-water sensation
once again flushing the warmth of the liquor from his system.  

     Slowly, he gave them a confirming glance.  Tall, black hair,
droopy moustache, Brown Gi; expression bordering on hysterical
tears... yup, definitely Soun Tendo.  The shorter, pudgy guy in a
while gi and head-scarf on the other side of Soun could only be
Genma Saotome.  Muck immediately clamped down on his hind-brains
suggestion to run away as fast as he could... if for no other
reason than he didn't want to draw attention to himself.  He was
able to quell the initial wave of panic, the one that wanted him
to run for the hills as fast as possible, by reminding himself
that they really were mostly harmless.  They also tended to talk
a lot, so all he had to do was sit there and encourage them, and
he'd have the perfect alibi for knowing what he already knew! 
The way they were all but dislocating their arms to pat
themselves on the back gave him the perfect way into the
conversation, too...

     Catching Master's eye, he gestured to the pair sitting next
to him, indicating that he'd buy their next bottle of Sake. 
Which allowed Muck to explain that it was to congratulate them
over their children's engagement; which, as expected, allowed him
into the conversation.  And into the round of Toasts they were
proposing to each other's brilliance; after which it started to
getting rather drunk out...

     Which left him feeling rather... delicate this morning, what
with the very photons that illuminated the day bouncing off his
skull like drumsticks on a snare.  Which was why he'd summarily
given Kuno detention after catching the senior lurking just
inside the front gates.  He supposed it was possible that the boy
really wasn't laying in wait for Ranma and Akane... but he didn't
think that was the case.  Thinking hurt this morning, even after
the asprin had kicked in; best to do as little of that as
possible until after the hangover was over...

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Ranma closed his eyes and let the warmth of the late spring
sun wash over him.  He'd never expected that schoolwork could be
as demanding as the Art, in its own way, but it was.  Prior to
this, school had been more of a vacation from the rigors of his
daily training with Pops; but as the morning's lessons had
progressed, he became more aware of just how severe his present
educational shortcomings were.  Even with Akane's help, he was
worried if he could keep his rash vow of the day before.  And
their fathers only made the situation worse; Pop's didn't like
the idea of spending so much time on something that wasn't
directly related to the Art, while old man Tendo had broken into
tears of joy at seeing the two of them at the same table without
bickering.  Fortunately Tendo had dragged Pops off to celebrate
with a drink; allowing the two work in peace... until he'd become
frustrated.  The resulting fight had pretty much ended the
evening.

     Still, Ranma had never failed in a task he'd set his mind to
before, and he wasn't about to start now.  At least he still had
the better part of a year to work with.  And it had been nice
working with Akane, at least up until the fight started.  Yes,
today was a pretty good day.  About the only thing that could
make it better would be...

     "Ranma Saotome!  I, Kouh-Li Mioh, challenge you in the name
of The Excessively Silly school of Martial Arts!  Stand and
defend yourself!"

     ... A challenge.  Ranma opened his eyes and evaluated his
opponent; then closed them again and grinned.  "I'm Ranma, and I
accept your challenge.  Be outside the front gates today at
three."

     His challenger bristled at that.  "I am not some flunky to
be put off, Saotome!  I will fight you here and now and prove
that my school is superior!"

     "I suggest you reconsider," Nabiki interjected into this
discussion, as she walked up to one side.  "School rules forbid
fighting on campus."

     "And who are you to enforce such a decision?"

     "I don't," Nabiki gloated, pointing at someone behind Kouh-
Li.  "He does."

     Kouh-Li turned, and found himself face to face with what
could only be some sort of Onii!  Emerald hard Irises were
surounded by bloodshot eyes and a floridly red complection that
seemed to almost blend into fiery red hair and moustach.  The
throbbing vein on its forehead seemed to promise great pain if
its edicts were crossed; and Kouh-Li decided that it would be
best to wait, and quickly removed himself from the Furinkan
schoolyard.  Ranma opened his eyes again and looked warily at
Thunders-sensei, but ‘Typhoon Gaijin' merely nodded, first to
Ranma, then to Nabiki, before moving on with his rounds of the
schoolyard.

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Akane looked up at her would be Fiancee and sighed.  Nabiki
and the school grapevine had been up to form, so the whole school
knew about the upcoming challenge well before school had let out
back at three.  At 3:10, Ranma had met his challenger on the
field of battle, just outside the school gates, by 3:12 it was
over.  Clearly, Ranma was disappointed... as had been most of the
school.  For all his bluster Kouh-Li had not been much of a
challenge, his Curl-Li maneuver had reduced the assembled student
body to laughter when they'd seen it; Ranma hadn't needed any but
the most basic techniques to claim victory.  Ranma was so
disappointed that he'd even brushed her off when she suggested
taking Ukyou up on her offer of a victory okonomiyaki!  That had
stunned the gathered student body even more than the easy
victory, because Ranma's apatite was just as legendary as
everything else about him...

     This bothered her.  She couldn't decide why it bothered her
so much either, which bothered her even more!  She couldn't even
snipe at him to try and break him out of this mood, because he
just kept moping along atop that fence and didn't seem to hear a
word she said!  She was ready to clobber him with something...
ANYTHING, just to get his mind out of the rut it was in, but she
doubted even that would work, so the pair just trudged in silence
on their path back to the Tendo Dojo.

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Muck stopped just outside the door to the Cat Café one last
time.  Truth be told, he'd rather be anywhere but here, yet the
tantalizing hints that Cologne had dropped yesterday demanded
further explanation.  She clearly knew much more about the Star
Shield and it's companion Sword than he did.  He'd received them
from the Mujadeen, a nomadic tribe three fica back and almost two
years ago, subjectively speaking... which really was the only way
to measure the time when you can jump between dimensions.  He'd
heard their tales about it even before he'd wound up bearing the
Star Icons; how they had been placed with the Mujadeen to keep
them safe from all save the one for whom they were meant. 
However, the Mujadeen were protectors, not instructors; they had
been more interested in the who should claim the icons rather
than the what could they do, leaving him with little clue about
what the Icons might do.

     And that was what had brought him back here.  Given his
druthers, he'd have preferred to remain as far as possible from
the general insanity and random destructiveness that surrounded
the central players of this fractured fairy tail.  Clearly,
however, a greater power dictated that this was not to be the
case; he wasn't going to find out anything until he stopped
stalling and went inside!

     The inside was agreeably deserted save for the ancient elder
herself.  Given how popular the café had been the day before Muck
could only surmise that Cologne had deliberately arranged for it
to be so; a conclusion he felt was proved when neither Shampoo
nor Mouse came out at the sound of the door-chime.  Not really
surprising, he decided, since from her tone the day before
Cologne had implied that knowledge of the Icons was a closely
held Joketsuzoku secret, ergo it would be in her best interests
to keep prying ears away from this conversation... and Cologne
always had the best interests of the Joketsuzoku in mind.

          Fifteen minutes later he was back on the street.  As
promised, Cologne had provided him a scroll of everything the
Joketsuzoku knew about the Icons... in Chinese.  To gain her help
in translating and learning how to use them would require him to
help her snag Ranma for Shampoo.  Since Muck knew full well that
his getting out of this fica depended on Ranma making a choice of
his own free will, this created an impasse between himself and
Cologne.  Before he'd left, though, she had passed on a warning. 
In her younger days, a stranger had come to the tribe and stolen
several of their ancient treasures; she was certain that this
person had been after the Icons as well.  Only the fact that
they'd long been sent away had kept the thief from stealing them.

     Muck was sure the warning was meant to bring him back, to
seek her help in guarding the icons in return for his helping
her.  That he'd have no other choice.  On the other hand, Muck
did feel like he had a couple of secret weapons up his sleeve
that she didn't know about.  FRED, certainly; his dual nature as
Star Ranger he was less certain about.  Who knew just what she
could tell from an aura... or if she knew what she was seeing in
his case.  Well, chasing that thought around in circles wouldn't
get him anywhere, he decided.  Getting back to Maison Ikkoku and
letting FRED take a crack at translating the scroll would be a
better use of his time in the long run.

     Several blocks away, the demented Happosai grand master of
the Anything Goes style, felt a strange tingle brush across his
senses.  It was faint and unusual, but felt perhaps familiar.  He
tried to concentrate on where he had felt it before; which caused
him to stop in the middle of the street and allow the mob of
outraged women with intent to pulverize to catch up with him.  As
the women stalked away, retrieved unmentionables in hand, he
realized what it was he'd felt.  The Icons might have slipped
through his fingers this time, but he had their scent now, and it
was only a matter of time before he could get his hands on
them...

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Ranma was still on Akane's mind that evening as she jumped
out of her window; grabbing the edge of the roof and using her
momentum to swing herself into a back flip that landed her on her
feet.  She hadn't been able to do that before Ranma arrived; to
be honest she wouldn't even have considered doing it before he
arrived!  Unless one had enough control over one's abilities to
leap straight up there, though, it was the fastest way to get up
onto the roof.

     Ranma had kept his word after they'd gotten home, but their
workout together had lasted less than five minutes before she
called it off.  Ranma had clearly still been brooding over the
lack of challenge from earlier; he'd been so distracted that she
was afraid one of them would get hurt, and the way Ranma had been
moping it could have been HIM for once!  It certainly would have
been nice to see Ranma get a bit of comeuppance, but it would be
even better when she was able to do it when he was really trying. 
Sure, that was it, not that she felt attracted to the dumb
jerk...

     Ranma didn't look to have moved since he'd leapt up to the
rooftop after she'd called off the training session; this was
Ranma, though, so she knew he had to realize she was here... 
"Ranma, Dinner is ready."

     "Uh huh.  Go on, Akane.  I'm not...  GUYURK?!?!?!"

     From Ranma's point of view, it was if Akane had suddenly
TELEPORTED in front of him, and was actually HOLDING him by the
front of his shirt high enough that his feet were off the ground. 
She was surrounded by a bright red aura that screamed anger and
her fist was cocked and ready to deal what could be a lethal blow
as she demanded "Who are you and what have you done to Ranma!!!"

     Ranma had been so deep in thought about the farce of a
challenge from earlier that even as his brain went to shift gears
into combat mode something happened that had never happened
before...  His ‘clutch' burned out, leaving his brain (and hence
his mouth) spinning in neutral!

     Akane, of course, took the babbling to mean that she'd
caught the imposter totally of guard.  It was probably that idiot
from this afternoon, He'd obviously not done ANY homework on his
victim or he'd known that the real Ranma Never, EVER passed up
Kasumi's cooking!  Her eyes narrowed and her fist drew slightly
further back...  At the moment she wanted nothing more than to
pour out her anger, her hatred and all her sorrow into this jerk
with a single cleansing blast of... "GI-FUN!"

     The sound of her cry managed what the earlier shock did not,
to snap Ranma out of his confusion into full out battle mode. 
Time seemed to crawl to a stand-still as Akane's chi-swathed fist
slowly moved forward while Ranma reached out and put one hand on
her wrist and the other on her opposite shoulder, giving him the
leverage he needed to twist forwards out of her grasp and drop
below the strike, throwing himself into a tumbling forward roll
as he did.  The blow missed by the slimmest of margins, the chi
gathered around her fist raising the hairs on his back as it
passed.  In fact, as her fist reached full extension, the chi
leapt from it and continued on in a straight line to demolish a
neighbor's chimney!  The two teens just stood there, looking
across at the results for a timeless moment.  Unfortunately, said
moment was broken when Ranma's common sense failed to re-boot
with the rest of his brain, and he quiped "Gifun?  Someone's been
watching to many American..."

     Just what Akane had been watching to much of went
unproclaimed as Akane landed a left hook that sent Ranma straight
down into the koi pond.

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     The meal which followed managed to surpass even that first
meal with the Saotome's for surreality; for once Ranma was not
shoveling food into his mouth as fast as inhumanly possible.  He
consumed his food with a speed no faster than any other person
might, looking over at Akane with a gaze that was an equal mix of
surprise, pride, and admiration.  Genma took this as a sign that
his son was not paying attention, but his attempts at Ranma's
food were, if anything, even less successful than ever before. 
Which meant that there was something Ranma knew that Nabiki
didn't; a situation she found less than tolerable.  By exercising
considerable restraint, she managed to hold out until dinner was
almost over... no need to seem too interested, after all.

     In fact, best to use an oblique approach... "I don't suppose
you have that $5000 yen I loaned you the other week?"

     Ranma's reddening face and downcast expression told her that
she'd hooked him again.  "Ah, er... no," he mumbled, sinking down
low before muttering;   "isupposeyouwantmetoposeagaintopayitoff."

     "Well, I suppose that is possible.  But, since I'm feeling
generous, I'll forgive this particular debt if you'll just tell
me what you're feeling so smug about."

     "Aww, its nothing major; Akane managed a chi blast just
before dinner."  The silence resulting from the collective face
fault following that pronouncement was quickly banished by chaos
as Genma and Soun began dancing together in excitement while
Kasumi and Nabiki pelted questions at Ranma.

     "Geez, why is everyone making such a big deal about this?"
Ranma finally demanded, managing to break through the hubbub. 
"Sure, it's great, but Akane's always been pretty good.  It was
really only a matter of time.  Besides, how is it my fault that
the one emotion she feels strongest is righteous indignation?"

     Causing everyone to face fault again, except for Akane who,
rather predictably, hit Ranma with a mallet...

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Ranma and Akane were coming back down the stairs with their
schoolwork when they heard the telltale sounds of their fathers
talking to a visitor.  Since in the past this had usually meant
some kind of trouble for either one or both of them, this aroused
both curiosity and caution.  As they quietly made their way down
the hall to the family room, the visitor's voice became clear;
causing them to look at each other with concern.  What was he
doing here? In silent agreement, they started to eavesdrop on the
conversation.

     "The why is easy enough, Tendo-san.  I do recall mentioning
that I was a school teacher, correct?"

     "Yes..."

     "I don't remember if I said where, but the where is here. 
Furinkan, to be specific."

     "Ah! Indeed, much becomes apparent."

     "Indeed, Saotome-san.  Given the general level of ability of
the more... energetic of the student body, I am seeking lessons
to... improve my chances of surviving the year."

     "Hrrrm.  I must admit some trepidation, Thunders-san.  To be
honest, teaching reminds me most painfully of my wife..."  Soun
trailed off into the sort of silence that the teens knew was a
full blown hysterics attack just waiting for a trigger.

     "However, I believe we might have a solution, Tendo.  You
see, Thunders-san, we hope our children will take over the dojo
in time.  If you don't have any objections due to their age, I
believe we can accommodate your request?"

     "That would be most acceptable, Saotome-san."

     Ranma and Akane exchanged a worried glance.  Knowing their
fathers, this could just as easily be yet another plan to help
‘encourage' them...  However, the sounds of someone standing put
that thought on hold, causing them to step out into the doorway
to avoid being caught.

     "Daijobou, Thunders-sensei.  We were not expecting to see
you here.  Are we in some sort of trouble?" the two asked,
feigning innocence.

     "No, not at all.  Rather, I have come seeking lessons in the
art."

     Soun's gaze cycled quickly between Thunders, Ranma, and
Akane several times before the words finally came.  "Sensei?  You
never mentioned our children were your students..."

     "You never asked, Tendo-san."

     Genma burst into laughter at that.  "He has a point! We
didn't ask!  Still, this won't be a problem for you?"

     "Not at all, Saotome-san.  In fact, one could say that my
close exposure to Ranma and Akane has given me a most... unique
appreciation of their level of skill."

     With Ranma stood rooted to the spot by the sinking feeling
in his mid-section; it was Akane who seized on the one straw that
might get them out of this situation.  "Father?  Shouldn't we at
least determine his level of ability before accepting him as a
student?"

     "Hmm, your daughter does have a point, Tendo-san.  Perhaps I
should withdraw with them to the dojo?"

     "Yes, yes, by all means...  But I'm certain that we'll be
able to conclude this deal successfully..." 

          *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

     Ranma gave his prospective student one last visual appraisal
before turning to Akane, raising an eyebrow in silent question.

     "He's definitely a most gaijin brawler."

     "Which he readily admitted at the start."

     "He's well... Old.  Even with the promise he shows I doubt
he'd be able to learn our most advanced techniques"

     "But he doesn't ask for that.  Just to learn what we can
teach him."

     "Ooooh, all right then.  I'm just not sure that this isn't
another wild plan on the part of both our fathers."

      "Why not ask him?"

     "Thunders-san, why do you want to study the art... and
especially why with us?"

     Muck raised his head and met the inquiring gaze of the two
teens.  "Because I need to learn what you have to teach,
Senseis."

     Ranma glanced at Akane before taking up the line of
questioning himself.  "Nice evasion, but why do you need to learn
from us?  Did our fathers put you up to this?"

     Muck's even gaze stared back at Ranma.  "No, they did not. 
As for the why, well, this is the answer..."  As his voice
trailed off, Muck was on his feet in a single, smooth motion, his
left arm drawing back in a throwing motion.  As the arm came
forward, Muck mumbled something and a yellow streak left his arm;
the streak caromed several times off the walls of the dojo before
Muck caught it once more, the glow fading to reveal a round
shield embossed with an eight pointed star.  "Sorry to startle
you two, but I needed to make certain that there wouldn't be
any...  outside ears to this part of the conversation.  This was
once intrusted to the Joketsuzoku, who entrusted it to someone
else before it could be stolen from them, along with their
underwear.  That someone else entrusted it to me; but the thief
is still out there, and would love to get his perverted hands on
it.  I need to learn as much as I can, to defend it and myself
from him."

     "Why not the old ghoul?"

     "Because her price was too high.  She demanded my assistance
in certain... marital matters."  Muck settled once more into
sieza, slipping the shield back onto his left arm where it
disappeared once more.

     This provoked another startled look between the two teens
before they returned their gaze to Muck.  "You said no?"

     "I said no.  As far as I am concerned, whomever Ranma
marries is a non issue...  But I feel that is Ranma's choice to
make, and Ranma's alone."

     "And the person he's marrying doesn't have any say in the
matter?" Akane demanded angrily.

     "Only that it is mutual between them."

     "Oh," Akane replied, mollified by the answer.

     "There are other... concerns," observed Ranma.

     "Two major ones, certainly," agreed Muck.  "As to the first,
I agree that it is... unwise to train under the roof of the very
person who wants this for his own.  Fortunately, I believe that
with my position we would be able to use the Furinkan grounds
after school.  As to the second, I will gladly pay the going
rate; since I expect that Nabiki will claim that for the
household funds, however, I offer this in addition...  My
assistance.  As long as it would not break the law, or any school
rules; ask, and I will do what I can." 

     "Tutoring if we get stuck?"

     "Most definitely."

     "Deal."